The Army faces such a critical shortage of Arabic speakers that it is considering recruiting non-Americans from Middle Eastern countries into its Special Forces teams. In a two-month period this fall, the Defense Language Institute (DLI)-an elite training school for military linguists in Monterey, California-discharged seven fully competent Arabic linguists. Faggots!!!

Tear gas and pepper gas aren't enough, it seems, to stop those pesky protesters. Now they want to narc 'em to sleep/stupor too. The Department of Defense has petitioned the UN for a ruling on the use of its new compressed high potency Valium gas. Unfortunately Valium has a few side effects and can cause serious problems up to and including death to children, old people and people who have alcohol in their systems. Eat your heart out, Mr. Putin.

California’s butch brunette bomber, Dianne Feinstein, voted to attack Iraq despite politically expedient promises to the contrary. Given her unwavering support of censorship, National ID cards, and hatred of privacy, one cannot but question her political pedigree -- or motives. The lives of your kids for a cheap re-election bid. -- October 20, 2002

The Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA) recently created what they call "a new intelligence infrastructure to allow these agencies to share information and collaborate effectively, and new information technology aimed at exposing terrorists and their activities and support systems." The new Information Awareness Office has eyes for you!