Monday, July 18, 2011
Annoy.com vs. Rupert Murdoch: Decades of Disgust
by CLINTON FEIN
On January 31, 1997, I filed a lawsuit against then Attorney General, Janet Reno, challenging the constitutionality of a provision of the Communications Decency Act, (CDA), which had been passed by congress and signed by President Bill Clinton the year prior. The provision made it a felony to transmit over the Internet, anything indecent with an intent to annoy someone. The same day we filed the lawsuit, which was ultimately decided by the United States Supreme Court, I launched Annoy.com, a site Created and Designed to Annoy (CDA). (In a book released in May 2011, Figures of Speech: First Amendment Heroes and Villains, one of my attorneys William Bennett Turner, discusses the case and its implications in depth. See his recent Google talk on the subject here.)
The site was deliberately offensive, to put it mildly. As editor and publisher, of Annoy.com, my job was to ensure that both language and imagery, crude in style and execution in its early days, was intentionally as indecent and annoying as possible.
The targets of Annoy.com’s wrath – politicians and the media – were excoriated with unreserved venom and vitriol, with the foulest language imaginable and frequently graphics to support it. And top of that list, literally from day one, was Rupert Murdoch and his media properties.
The biggest irony of all, was that my small company had waged a First Amendment battle, the resolution of which would protect the likes of News Corporation. No one could argue that online transmission of content of the New York Post, and later Fox News could meet the vague definitions of both indecent and annoying.
Almost every month, our disgust for Murdoch and the extent to which he was singlehandedly and irreparably degrading journalism was published on Annoy.com.
There was the song Money Green (based on Candle in the Wind), a posthumous message from the media to Diana about their relentless and deadly pursuit of her, (later turned into a video to point out the veracity of the predictions in the song), in which Murdoch was referred to as a “high class whore” who “paid for photographs, and your life was the price we paid.” The final line: “The carnage will continue, like the poison in the pen. And no one knows the difference now, between The Sun and CNN.
Then there was “If We Had Ethics,” based on the delightful “If I Did It” book deal with OJ Simpson. Judith Regan, a Rupert Murdoch darling who could do no wrong, was fired from News Corporation’s publishing arm, HarperCollins, on December 15, 2006 – supposedly over anti-Semitic comments she’s alleged to have made, in addition to the controversial O.J. Simpson faux confessional, “If I Did It,” which was distasteful enough to cause a collective public apoplexy. Regan was so maligned by virtually everyone (including me) that even the liars at Fox News, another News Corp. subsidiary tarred and feathered her, with none other than the ethically challenged Bill O’Reilly leading the charge.
When the stench of the distaste began emanating from the Murdochs themselves, they did what they do best. They threw Regan under the bus.
Almost a year later, Regan slapped News Corporation with a hundred million dollar lawsuit, accusing the company and HarperCollins of wrongfully dismissing her.
The lawsuit suggested that Regan’s downfall was quite possibly a craftily engineered preemptive strike to discredit her, so that by the time she opened her mouth to reveal the things she now has, no one would pay heed. They badly underestimated her.
According to Wikipedia, Regan “was ordered to lie to federal investigators regarding the controversy over Bernard Kerik, with whom she was having an affair, to protect Rudy Giuliani's bid for president.” According to the New York Times, “The assertion that the News Corporation has sought to protect Mr. Giuliani appears in the opening page of the filing. The document later revisits aspects of the assertion without providing a full account of what is alleged to have occurred or how it might be substantiated in court.”
Turns out, Judith Regan was familiar with New Corporation’s modus operandi. The executive who tried to influence her to lie to federal investigators was Roger Ailes, chairman of Fox News. And Regan had proof. She had taped the conversation.
When News Corporation got wind of the recording, it took only two months before they reached a confidential settlement with Regan -- paying her $10.75 million, and in a curt press release, stated “After carefully considering the matter, we accept Ms. Regan’s position that she did not say anything that was anti-Semitic in nature, and further believe that Ms. Regan is not anti-Semitic.”
If anyone is wondering just how far the Murdoch’s will go to protect Rebekah Brooks need only look at Judith Regan to see where their loyalties ultimately lie. And if the FBI is wondering where to start to see if News Corporation committed criminal acts this side of the Atlantic, may I suggest starting with a subpoena of Judith Regan and Roger Ailes.
Our attacks against the disgusting, repulsive dregs of humanity who promoted violence and divisiveness and compromised any shred of the most basic common decency to whore themselves for the News Corporation brand included New York Post’s Andrea Peyser; Steve Dunleavy; Peter Chernin; Megan Turner; Adam Buckman; Murdoch’s wife who no doubt married him for his youthful good looks, Wendi Deng; Dianne Brandi, Vice President of Legal Affairs for Fox News Network; Geraldo Rivera; Oliver North; Daniel Pipes, Bill O’Reilly; Gen Beck; Richard Johnson; Lenn Robbins; and Michael Kelly.
All this time we’ve been railing against Murdoch, it felt like we were swimming upstream alone. Long before Keith Olbermann began his vendetta against Fox News and later Murdoch. But the Internet has a memory, and despite the vulgarity of some of the expression, primed as it was for Annoy.com's mission, below is a compilation of what Annoy.com published. Vindication has taken a long time, but it looks like, finally, it may just have arrived.
RELATED ANNOY.COM CONTENT
Following the tragic death of Princess Diana on August 31, 1997, Annoy.com’s Clinton Fein penned the song “Money Green,” which was performed live in Los Angeles in October 1997 by the talented Meri Free, and her band Circle. Among the prescient lyrics: "Rupert’s a high class whore; And Teddie Turner wanted more and more; Yes they paid for photographs; And your life was the price they paid. Well even as you died; Oh the Larry Kings still gushed; We’ll forever use your face; Who cares if your privacy was crushed? "
Trumps, Bumps and Humps
December 21, 2006
Donald Trump, who looks as if a plastic surgeon constructed his fat, pouting lips using the excess skin hacked from Sylvester Stallone’s face, should know, of all people, that looks aren’t important when it comes to securing a partner. Surely he doesn’t think Ivana, Marla or his latest conquest, Melania, married him because he looks like a badly botched combination of Tim Russert and Rush Limbaugh, not in spite of it. For Trump to be judging people on their looks is as ludicrous as Rupert Murdoch trumpeting the virtues of journalistic integrity, or Linda Tripp admonishing people for privacy invasions.
The much-anticipated Iraq Study Group led by former Secretary of State James Baker and former Democratic Representative, Lee Hamilton of Indiana, released its findings on December 6, 2006. Although the geriatric panel lobbied some tough criticism at the White House and Pentagon, its findings, supposedly delivered after the midterm elections to avoid injecting domestic politics into it (like politics can be divorced from it), are already outdated given the rapid escalation into violence and chaos in Iraq.
Nonetheless, it did call for U.S. combat brigades to be withdrawn from Iraq by early 2008, which in turn led the mentally retarded apes at Rupert Murdoch’s New York Post to conclude that Hamilton and Baker were "surrender monkeys" -- their brazen headline accompanying quite possibly the worst Photoshop image ever produced.
New York Postmortem
November 20, 2002
Seems to me that if some loyal Brit wanted to take a page out of the American handbook - and give Burrell a helping hand with his vision - the next time Burrell the Bum looks in the mirror, what the butler sees is two black eyes.
Steve Dunleavy, the gossip whore from the New York Post.
The violence of News Corporation’s Rupert Murdoch owned company gets to our heads in an outburst that leaves Peter Chernin, Roger Ailes and other Rupert owned stooges reeling, the Department of Defense fires Arab speaking linguists for being gay while the about-to-be-expanded bureaucracy of American intelligence still hasn’t found abortion clinic bomber Clayon Waagner in the hills of middle America. And of course, we remind the bastards at News Corp. who actually killed Diana as they wallow in the sordid affairs of her butler, the esteemed Mr. Burrell.
Bully Pal Pit
October 2, 2002
Imus…taking freedom of speech to a whole new level
MSNBC and a bunch of other media properties have no problem aligning themselves with Don Imus’ Hatred in the Morning, News Corp’s Peter Chernin stops jacking off over the prospect of Temptation Island going digital with a smut attack, New York Post’s Andrea Peyser uses London’s Sun tabloid to guide her moral finger wagging over appropriate art, Ann Coulter flaunts her pussy like a Jerry Springer guest, Andrew Sullivan sees the light, (or sits on it), Trent Lott forgets he has no credibility, President Bush is shamed by you…no by him…fuck that teleprompter…and AOL Time Warner reveals their deep-rooted hatred of children with cancer.
Augiust 9, 2002
I believe people have taken a step back and asked, `What's important in life?' You know, the bottom line and this corporate America stuff, is that important? Or is serving your neighbor, loving your neighbor like you'd like to be loved yourself?
Presidential patronizing, Mike Barnicle on word etiquette, Eliot Spitzer know it when he sees it, Donahue doesn’t, Fox News Channels’ Dianne Brandi drags Bill O’Reilly through
Jasper the mud, by comparing her boss, Rupert Murdoch, to Jesus’ Dad. New York Post’s Megan Turner writes poo, while Wall Street Journal’s Brendan Miniter has plans for trade in China. Eminem has plans for Hilary Rosen, but her head is somewhere else.
Boxing Paula and Ripping O'Reilly
March 7, 2002
Memo to rest of world: It's true that America is the mightiest country in the world, possibly in history. And if you want to worship us, we're cool with that. But we aren't actually God. Some things we don't control.
Wall Street Journal’s James Taranto, March 5, 2002 in the paper’s Opinion Journal in the kind of jingoistic, preadolescent claptrap that saturates the paper’s editorial pages. Also, Brendan Miniter kisses Mel Gibson's Hollywood ass; Andrew Sullivan discovers politicians are opportunistic; Bill O'Reilly looks into the mirror to see Geraldo and Oliver North; Focus on the Family's Walter Larimore is focusing on your children; New York Post's Daniel Pipes pipes up with a brilliant idea for Alan Keyes; Robert Ray reminds us why Osama bin Laden could plan away unhindered and Paula Jones gets classy on us. No, it's not the Royal Ascot Races.
Of God and Men and Disease and Sex and Drugs
February 12, 2002
When there are problems in the family you don't walk away. You
work them out together with God's help
Cardinal Bernard Law, February 1O 2002, following the scandal from the January 18 conviction of defrocked priest John J. Geoghan, convicted of indecent assault and battery on a 10 year old boy. Also Ari Fleischer gets reamed by Helen Thomas, Maggie Thatcher waves her butcher knife, the New York Post's Richard Johnson and Lenn Robbins show us why Rupert Murdoch's tabloid trash is winning over the body bags in Afghanistan, and David Horowitz rims George W. Bush, who's greasing up a few good men of his own.
Fear and Loathing and Sheep's Clothing
December 7, 2001
Heather Mercer and Dayna Curry decided to go to help people who needed help. Their faith led them to Afghanistan. One woman who knows them best put it this way: they had a calling to serve the poorest of the poor, and Afghanistan is where that calling took them.
Our intellectually challenged United Sates President George W. Bush regarding aid workers rescued from Afghanistan at a White House ceremony in the The Rose Garden... PLUS...Burka Babes for Jesus thank the wrong people...cloning suffers a major setback when John Ashcroft chimes in...military tribunals become de rigueur...New York Post yet again...FBI shows Yasser Arafat the meaning of immediacy by finally capturing Clayton Waagner...and Rev. Franklin Graham forgets What Jesus Would Do!
Post Mortem - The Death of Intelligent Media
November 9, 2001
This is still no time to go wobbly. Also, it is no time for the U.S. media to revert to the hysterical, silly, fear-mongering, self-centered, juvenile and ninnyish form that has made it so widely mistrusted and so cordially detested.
Michael Kelly in an October 20, 2001 New York Post Editorial with this image on the front page. PLUS...Rupert and Christiane Amanpour duke it out...Prince Charles faces seeds of discontent head on...Golden Gate bridge becomes a target of politics...MSNBC brings you the whole picture in the form of an asshole...Steve Case and Bill Gates want access to your children's minds and anthrax continues to be the "new jaws"scare tactic in the new normalcy.
Cry My Diluted Swastika
By CLINTON FEIN
August 19, 2010
On Fox News, Glenn Beck claimed President Obama harbored a "deep-seated hatred of white people" and accused him of being "racist." Only after he simulated poisoning Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, did advertisers begin bolting in droves; while Beck continues to spew his Rupert Murdoch funded hatred. Apparently UPS, HSBC, Visa, Pearle Vision and Broadview Home Security are still willing to affiliate themselves with this whack job. Visa, it’s everywhere you don’t want to be.
Rupert and Rudy
By CLINTON FEIN
November 18, 2007
Meanwhile, Giuliani’s response to the Judith Regan suit was to dismiss it as sounding like a “gossip column story,” and one not worthy of his response. That strategy might have worked for George Bush Senior when asked about his adulterous affair, but Giuliani might not be so lucky. For one, even his Republican opponents are already all over it, and more importantly, it’s not only a gossip column story, it’s a lawsuit alleging criminal conduct on behalf of News Corp. executives in the name of protecting the presidential ambitions of Rudy Giuliani.
It makes sense really. The smutty programming produced and aired by Fox coupled with the smutty lifestyle exemplified by Giuliani is a match made in heaven…or hell.
The only thing worse than a world run by George Bush and Dick Cheney, would be one run by Rupert Murdoch and Rudy Giuliani.
Fox, Henhouse and Chickens
BY CLINTON FEIN
August 28, 2006
As long as hard-working, courageous, idealistic and responsible journalists and reporters remain willfully ignorant of the corporatization of news, and allow and accept equal billing with loud-mouthed shills, spitting deliberate provocations in an increasingly divisive substitution of content for discontent, the remaining shreds of nobility in the profession of journalism will be irreparably damaged and news will forever be defined by shallow attempts to generate ratings and revenue, and to push agendas rather than explain them.
With Intent to Annoy
By CLINTON FEIN
January 9, 2006
Perhaps an annoyingly erroneous news dispatch on the cover of the New York Post in Sago, West Virginia might be more annoying there than it would be to the poor person reading it as fact on the subway in Manhattan. And therefore, if someone chose to send the story anonymously to Rupert Murdoch, expressing their outrage, which community would decide the appropriate level of content annoyance to legitimize a federal lawsuit by Mr. Murdoch?
Further, assuming it was determined that the content was likely annoying enough to Mr. Murdoch in Manhattan, would the content become less annoying if Mr. Murdoch was to sip on a scotch, smoke a joint or pop a Xanax?
And what exactly constitutes the annoyance. Is it the fact the email was sent to him at home rather than the office? Or that it was sent by Ted Turner? Or whether the sender's intent was to gloat at Murdoch's mistakes, or communicate them in the hope he remedy them?
The Madness of Queen George
By CLINTON FEIN
April 14, 2003
While Paul Wolfowitz, Richard Perle, Donald Rumsfeld and Dick Cheney high-five one another over all the money they will make from this war, it might help Americans to wade through the fog of American media propaganda that presented such a polished and sanitized version of the war. Iraqi suffering does not make for as good television as “embedded” reporters cozying up next to marines and it would be easy to confuse it with Hollywood propaganda. Particularly the kind vomited by Fox News owned by Rupert Murdoch -- soon to control both production and distribution pipelines with his timely and predictable $6.6 billion purchase of Hughes Electronics which includes America’s largest cable satellite provider DirecTV from General Electric.
Right wing armchair hawks at corporate media controlled American propaganda channels, too pampered to even attend a pro-war rally let alone fight in a war, mock Iraq’s missing leadership for failing to play by the rules of treaties ignored by America, branding them cowards for hiding in bunkers (as opposed to undisclosed locations) to avoid the falling of bombs and missiles on their homes and headquarters.
By CLINTON FEIN
September 11, 2003
Yet, in perhaps the most hypocritical and ugly backtracking by Donald Rumsfeld -- and there are many – he contradicted Mr. Bush’s ambitious reconstruction and altruistic colored commitments, explicitly stating that that Iraq cannot “rely on its oil revenues alone to rebuild its decrepit infrastructure but must plan to develop industries like tourism that would benefit from national and historic treasures like the ruins of the ancient city of Babylon.” This, of course, after his meticulously planned attack allowed every precious historical artifact to be stolen and plundered by starving Iraqis and journalists from Fox News. Perhaps Rupert Murdoch will make a donation, although more likely, he'll begin publishing the Islamic counterpart to his tabloid trash The Sun – The Moon, or launch a cable channel so surviving Iraqis can watch Survivor.
Keep the Change
The New America
By CLINTON FEIN
January 14, 2002
The solemn, soul-searched, media-declared New America gave witness to a new respect among media companies that had packaged the tragedy in enough gauche, overproduced bunk to please Jerry Springer replete with a tacky cat fight between CNN and Fox News. Fox parent company News Corporation’s Rupert Murdoch called CNN’s prize war correspondent, Christiane Amanpour, a “war slut” (as opposed to the more rhythmic “wanton war-torn haughty whore”) while CNN paraded Paula Zahn -- the anchor Fox News chairman Roger Ailes fired for negotiating with CNN before her Fox contract was up -- as prime time pussy in a promotion that dubbed her “just a little bit sexy”.
Fox, having stolen from CNN, the less ‘sexy’ anchor, Greta Van Susteren, (she who dug her unfashionable heels into Nicole Brown Simpson’s barely cooled back to launch her career) to replace Zahn poured fuel onto the inferno. Kevin Magee, Fox News’ vice president of programming was able to divert his eyes from a jack off session over Temptation Island II to call CNN’s cheap promotion of Paula Zahn as a “sign of desperation,” mocking CNN’s hollow admission -- characterized by Chairman and CEO Walter Isaacson as “a major blunder by our promo department.” Perhaps Enron can learn something from that.
Amidst this high-class spectacular battle of the titans, MSNBC sought to titillate their viewers into buying what they really needed to sit through any more couth Ashleigh Banfield Live from Ground Zero newscasts by broadcasting hard liquor commercials. (A Johnnie Walker Black Label on the rocks to nurse whilst watching MSNBC’s answer to Christiane Amanpour greet and interview a plethora of digital-video-armed curiosity seekers, tastefully whooping and franticly camera waving from their block-long lines waiting to mount newly erected viewer platforms to gawk at -- and film -- weary rescue workers inhaling asbestos). And then have the audacity to question the tastefulness of Ground Zero caps and postcards being hawked at the same people she’s interviewing between Ovaltine commercials.
Welcome to the Machine
By CLINTON FEIN
November 30, 2000
And so it came to pass. The dullest candidates in history, running the dullest of campaigns on the dullest of issues ended up jointly losing the presidency in an election that left the country gratefully leaderless and revealing the media for the inaccurate, clumsy and irresponsible monster it has become.
Moments after the mass media machine (led by the prostate-challenged Rupert Murdoch's Fox News) revealed that Gore had taken Florida in early reports; it was forced to retract owing to a singular reliance on a malfunctioning machine (operated by a Bush cousin?) transmitting an incorrect tally. America and the world became aware, for the first time perhaps, that the quality of the media coverage in a breathless race for ratings over substance was, in all its sensational overproduction, responsible for interfering dangerously with a presidential election. Threatening the very democracy that gives the media license to lie, misrepresent information and shape opinion in the guise of legitimate news.
A Letter to Five Senators from Elian Gonzales
By CLINTON FEIN
December 21, 1999
There's the Communications Decency Act, there's the Child Online Protection Act, there's the Office of the Independent Council, there's George W and Al. There's Pat Buchanan and The Donald. There's Tim Russert and Maureen Dowd. There's Ted Turner and Rupert Murdoch. There's MSNBC and CNN. There's MTV and…er…MTV. There's Dr. Laura and Laura Ingraham. There's Kathy Lee Gifford and Jerry Falwell. There's Calista Flockhart and Rosie O'Donnell. There's Richard Simmons and Roger Clinton. There's OJ and Jon Benet, Diana and JFK, IPO's and Y2K…
Oh yeah..and there's the return of Monica, Linda and Columbine!
Vindictive Op-Ed Victim
Maureen Dowd's Pain
By CLINTON FEIN
June 1, 1999
I'll start plagiarizing all the time. I'll start being moralistic and holier-than-thou like Mike Barnicle. Maybe some unfeeling cop will give me a ticket, or better still, insert a plunger up my ass.
I'll hail a cab, but all the cabbies will pass me by. When one finally picks me up, the Cindy Adams tape will keep reminding me who is really Queen of Gossip!
I'll resign from the New York Times and get a job with Rupert Murdoch. I could maybe do a gig with Matt Drudge. We could copy Equal Time like they did Crossfire. And, not to play the race card, I'm white and what we really need right now are more white talking heads doing confrontational talk shows!
...just getting annoyed. I'll get over it. I'm tired.
Rupert Murdoch in interview with Wall Street Journal, "In Interview, Murdoch Defends News Corp.", Bruce Orwall, Wall Street Journal, July 14, 2011
The only thing worse than a world run by George Bush and Dick Cheney, would be one run by Rupert Murdoch and Rudy Giuliani.
Clinton Fein, Rupert and Rudy, Annoy.com, November 18, 2007
And just like that, a dead teenage girl, long buried, motionless, blinked, precipitating a small retributive burst, that slowly but surely gained momentum strengthening into an unstoppable karmic wind, tearing away the immaculately cultivated stalwart facade to reveal the truth at last. And one by one, the decayed dominoes of deceit and depravity came crashing down.
Clinton Fein, Dominoes of Depravity, Annoy.com, July 15, 2011
Three and a half years ago, when I stood atop boxes of photocopy paper in the rather dowdy offices of the old Dow Jones, there was no doubt some apprehension among the staff about the new management. No amount of reassurance or cajoling can convince a person to respect another - respect only comes through the reality of day-after-day contact. Respect is earned not granted.
Rupert Murdoch, in an email to Dow Jones employees following resignation of Les Hinton, July 15, 2011
News Corp under Rupert's brilliant leadership has proved a fitting parent of Dow Jones, allowing us to invest and expand as other media companies slashed costs. This support enabled us together to strengthen the company during a brutal economic downturn, developing fine new products - not to mention one of the world's great newspapers led by one of the world's great editors, my dear friend and colleague Robert Thomson.
Les Hinton, the chief executive of Dow Jones & Co, resignation email to Dow Jones employees, July 15, 2011
At News International we pride ourselves on setting the news agenda for the
right reasons. Today we are leading the news for the wrong ones.
The reputation of the company we love so much, as well as the press freedoms
we value so highly, are all at risk.
As Chief Executive of the company, I feel a deep sense of responsibility for
the people we have hurt and I want to reiterate how sorry I am for what we now know to have taken place.
I have believed that the right and responsible action has been to lead us through the heat of the crisis. However my desire to remain on the bridge has made me a focal point of the debate.
This is now detracting attention from all our honest endeavours to fix the
problems of the past.
Therefore I have given Rupert and James Murdoch my resignation. While it has
been a subject of discussion, this time my resignation has been accepted.
Rebekah Brooks, resignation letter to Rupert Murdoch, July 15, 2011
The company's shares are down about 15 percent since early last week, when new allegations emerged that News Corp. journalists intercepted phone messages of politicians, celebrities, and sports figures and bribed police in the U.K. In the political firestorm that ensued, the company closed the 168-year-old tabloid News of the World at the center of the scandal, and withdrew its $12 billion bid for the 61 percent of British Sky Broadcasting that it doesn't already own.
The damage done to the company is "nothing that will not be recovered," he said. "We have a reputation of great good works in this country."
Asked if he was bothered by the deluge of negative headlines in recent days, Murdoch said he was "just getting annoyed. I'll get over it. I'm tired."
Responding to Murdoch's comments, the leader of Britain's opposition Labour party, Ed Miliband, suggested the media magnate "still doesn't get it".
Associated Press, Murdoch: We've handled hacking "extremely well", July 15, 2011
RELATED ANNOY.COM COVERS
Sorry Mister Murdoch
February 20, 2009
If We Had Ethics
November 19, 2006
May 28, 2003
Osama bin Hussein
February 12, 2003
RELATED ANNOY.COM FEATURE
Same Sex Sanctity
Because for gays and lesbians, strategically and tactically, the mimicking of a crippled, commercial, tainted and cheapened institution that has a higher than 50% failure rate is the most compelling evidence that the nuclear family as the ultimate objective toward which to strive, or optimal structure under which to raise a child, is a myth.
Because the marriages of Britney Spears, Joe Millionaire, Michael Jackson, Elizabeth Taylor, Liza Minnelli, Joe Scarborough, O.J Simpson, Rupert Murdoch, Henry Hyde, Bill Clinton, George Herbert Walker Bush, Neil Bush, Newt Gingrich, and an endless list of quick, cheap, shotgun, adulterous, cheating, conniving marriage mockeries have done more to cheapen the institution than MSNBC or Fox has to the profession of journalism.
Because every demented freak screaming that gays are flaunting their sexuality need to take a long, hard look at their wedding rings, and realize that before long, a tattoo on their foreheads are about all that will be left for them to flaunt theirs.
Because at the end of the day, any glib, sanctimonious moron who genuinely believes that their sexual preference for one orifice -- mere inches apart from another -- or gratification of appendages based on hardness or softness, better qualifies them to raise a family, guide children or contribute to the greater social good must have their entire head stuck up their own not-so-pretty orifice.