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Wednesday, October 2, 2002

Bully Pal Pit

Click to Send Postcard Imus…taking freedom of speech to a whole new level.

The beyond annoying, trying-to-sound-tough MSNBC voice-over promoting radio host Don Imus – a frightful combination of Kathy Lee Gifford and Jerry Springer. MSNBC’s definition of new levels of free speech are listening to this crusty old coke whore bitch hysterically about how hideous life is on his Architectural Digest-featured, tax-exempt Imus ranch. Supposedly for “kids with cancer,” a handful of kids are bussed in for a few days a year to come work on the ranch, while brands clamor to give money and product in the hope they won’t be dissed on air. We wouldn’t take such offense to any of it -- often the rants are spot on -- if self-appointed arbiters of decency, like Senator Joe Lieberman and other high profile politicians and media morons, didn’t whine and grovel sycophantically as Imus and the gang trash the living daylights out of them, like pathetic, subservient Jews attempting to curry favor at a David Duke rally. Recently, and particularly nauseatingly, Imus grudgingly deigned to interrupt his own tirade against Roadrunner, AOL Time-Warner’s cable service, to report breaking news about another suicide bombing in Israel, and while Israel reeled in horror at chunks of flesh splattered all over, Imus cut back to equate Roadrunner’s lack of quick restoration of his cable service to AOL Time-Warner “hating children with cancer”. Combined with the reborn Christians and self-hating, shaved-headed, gay-obsessed buffoons who fawn over him like virgin nuns at prison rodeos, the adolescent bantering is enough to inspire fucking suicide bombers in Manhattan. The usually litigious AOL Time Warner’s response to such egregious trademark thrashing was to give Imus a Roadrunner jacket. The ungrateful fucking little bastards with cancer probably got nothing though, and rightly so. According to Imus, they aren’t allowed to watch TV on the ranch anyway.

The stall tactics and smoke screens of those who have purposely ignored digital shoplifting can no longer be tolerated and can no longer mask the ulterior motives that have driven them all along…The truth is that anyone unwilling to condemn outright theft by digital means is either amoral or wholly self-serving…The prevalence of pornographic Web sites and e-mails is a lot more than an insult to common decency…It's an increasing reason to keep kids and families off the Internet. And these are only part of the virtual logjam of valueless clutter.

Fox Group CEO and News Corp. President Peter Chernin, throwing the company’s support behind government regulation of the Internet by launching into a demented diatribe at an annual conference organized by the Progress & Freedom Foundation as to why (and we’re not making this up) Rupert Murdoch’s company might not digitize some of its content. Now while we all agree that the potential non-release of Jerry Springer and Temptation Islands One and Two are as horrific a thought to contemplate as suicide bombs in Tel Aviv or explosives that resemble food packages in Kabul, we cannot wonder if the fact that this mini-cocked twerp is forced to report to pip squeak Lachlan Murdoch isn’t partly to blame for this bitter outburst. In the meanwhile, perhaps footage of the Chinese aborting their offspring before the government does it for them would look great digital, but since News Corp is virtually fucking the Chinese government for favorable television and satellite rights, we presume that sort of content will be put on hold as well.

A violently disturbing sculpture popped up last week in the middle of Rock Center's busy underground concourse - right in front of the ice-skating rink. It depicts a naked woman, limbs flailing, face contorted, at the exact moment her head smacks pavement following her leap from the flaming World Trade Center. The worst part about the piece is that you can't miss it. Even if you try. Titled "Tumbling Woman," the sculpture is by '80s darling Eric Fischl.

New York Post’s World Trade Center whore, Andrea Peyser, once again milking the terrorist attacks, commenting on a statue in Rockerfeller Plaza. Given Peter Chernin’s comments (above), the notion of some skanky yeast infection with the writing skills of a fucking lobotomized elephant vomiting her opinion of what’s decent or not is enough to make decent people leap from skyscrapers rather than read her drivel. But like a terrible accident, you can’t help but read this shit. Even if you try! Perhaps the sculpture should just be surrounded by a pile of stones and re-titled “Amina Lawal.” Let’s watch to see how vocal this Peyser bitch is in her condemnation of the sentencing to death by stoning for sex-out-of-wedlock of this poor Nigerian woman under Shariah law or is News Corporation vying for satellite rights in Nigeria?

Patriot Eunice Stone took down their license plate numbers and called the police as the mirthful Muslims left. (I'd give you the names, but they're too complicated. There's a reason they use numbers at Guantanamo.) Despite the racist hysteria sweeping the nation, the police did not rush out and start rounding up Arabs.

The fascist latrine pin-up pussy for the O’Reilly crowd, with the brain cell of a cucumber, Ann Coulter, in her latest incident of verbal diarrhea. When this demented cunt isn’t joking about blowing up the offices of The New York Times, she amuses the fanatical with mini-skirted television appearances and attempts at Sharon Stone sex appeal borrowed from Stone’s famous scene in Basic Instinct. Not even close, darling. Not even at Stone’s worst moment in Casino. Not even when Stone’s taking a shit. Ann Coulter looks more like an anorexic JonBenet Ramsey with no style. Maybe if we’re really lucky, her father will spend Christmas Eve with her. We’ll supply the nylon rope. Oh, sorry. Joke.

Personally, I've never been embarrassed by the presence of physical miracles in the Gospels and believe them. But my own faith certainly doesn't rest on the need for such manifestations of divine power. For growing numbers of people, however, miracles are integral to the conversion experience and the lived faith. Just as in Jesus' time.

Yeah, but how about embarrassment for your writing cockbreath? None other than former New Republic editor, Andrew Sullivan, in a diatribe on his website which is nothing more than a polemic pantheon to right wing lunacy if not a poster site for the dementia resulting from a lethal combo cocktail of steroids and self-righteous ego. If this disillusioned faggot was straight he’d probably be fucking Ann Coulter, but instead we have to suffer his masked affections for disgraced sleaze journalist Matt Drudge, who rumor has it is as straight as David Brock. If this is the kind of visibility the Nazifags at the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) are fighting for, they may as well hire Jerry Falwell to do their fucking PR. What would Jesus do, Sullivan? Bareback?

When you've quite finished ... cool Rumsfeld smiles as protesters interrupt on Capitol Hill

A photo caption in The Sun, Britains Murdoch owned tabloid gushing over Defense Secretary Rumsfeld’s ability to ignore protesters with the cool detachment of a Pharmaceutical CEO reading the impact of genetically modified food patents on local populations. The protestors, on the other hand, had the fucking guts to use the freedom of expression most other Americans take for granted. Since the whores at The Sun were too busy focusing on publishing the histrionics of some prissy in-house tarts bashing Stella McCartney’s appropriate “Get lost, you losers,” response to their prying questions regarding her wedding, we’ll fill in the fucking gap. The gutsy women, who had the courage to stand up to the Secretary of Defensive, were Diane Wilson, a mother of five and Medea Benjamin.

Fool me once, shame on…..shame on you…but you fool me I can’t get fooled again…

Or something mumbled to that effect. When the teleprompter fucks up, the scripted President fucks up. As New York Times columnists, Maureen Dowd, once pointed out, the problem with the Bushies is that they read the stage directions. It would be funnier if the whole fucking world wasn’t buying this crap, and Tony Blairing their unconditional support, despite the absence of a goddamn game plan, end game or shred of evidence linking Saddam Hussein to Osama bin Laden. Three words you fucking illiterate twat: Shame on you.

He needs to come home. And keep his mouth shut.

Senate minority leader Trent Lott borrowing a page from the Ari Fleischer School of Free Expression, commenting on remarks made by Representative Jim McDermott of Washington State, who said he thought President Bush was willing "to mislead the American people" about whether the war was needed and that the tenuous links between Iraq and Al Qaeda and Iraq's supposed attempts to obtain weapons of mass destruction. Lott, the helmet-haired pussface who lost his power and credibility -- and who stands as much chance of being President one day as Mike Tyson -- should take his own advice one step further and go the fuck home. This singing twerp elicits less respect than Gary Condit, fer Christ’s sake. Perhaps the Press Secretary of the United States will recommend in his official capacity that Lott give him the bullet. Ari Fleischer was forced to clarify his words for reporters after he called on Iraqis to assassinate Saddam Hussein because "the cost of one bullet" would be "substantially less" than the $13 billion cost of a war. How much are we paying for the fucking PR, one wonders.


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