Reading the language of a new bill crafted by Louisiana Senator Mary Landrieu carefully, some things remain predictably the same. Politicians with no clue about technology and a penchant for publicity at the expense of children, will keep American children about as safe as hiring Osama bin Laden as a babysitter or confiscating toenail clippers from grandmothers in Oklahoma.

"He's a wonderful person," says Helen Thomas, the Hearst columnist who has covered the White House since it was occupied by John F. Kennedy. "But he's under the control of the palace guard" -- Bush advisors Karen Hughes and Karl Rove.

Gary Condit's affair with Chandra Levy, a former government intern who disappeared in April, became the only national story during a journalistic low point of a slow-news summer. The attention heaped on one missing girl was unprecedented. That was before the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks, which he's now using for political gain. Uncertain about dates, could this class act have arranged a Sept 11 breakfast with the missing intern atop a certain tower?

In a move clearly designed to quash free speech and disguise the unfortunate ties between the GOP and Enron, the Republican Party of Texas displayed their ignorance by hiring a law firm stupid enough to deliver a 'cease and desist' letter, suggesting EnronOwnsTheGop.com would be confused with the GOP. Is anyone suing the asshole attorney who wrote the letter?