Friday, April 22, 2005
Dry as a Bone
|ANNOY.COM NOISE ABOUT ANN
As the election draws near, most voters have probably looked back to determine whether they are better off than they were four years ago, and then carried on shopping or guzzling whatever pills allow them to forget. Back then, in an age of $50 million blowjob investigations that moistened the upholstery on a million talk show television sets, terrorism was akin to something Ann Coulter did in the privacy of her Fox News appearances.
Remember the crazed woman who sits with her legs open in miniskirts pontificating Jesus and who recommended America "invade" other "countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity"? Well Ann Coulter, the blonde, demented talk-show tramp, has been immortalized with a Barbie-like doll released in her likeness in time for the holiday season. It could just end up being the best selling anal dildo of the season, (it actually looks like and talks shit)." Funny, Saddam Hussein cannot be tortured, but seems like the doll manufacturers, TalkingPresidents.com, are able to do it to almost everyone. I would recommend sending the deposed leader a Coulter doll, but why should the interrogators be punished?
Although easy for a man to posit, Village Voice's executive editor, Richard Goldstein, suggested that women subject to Arnie-style groping respond in kind. "If you want to stop gropinators in their tracks, grab them back. Not as a romantic response, but as a preemptive action when a guy is known for this m.o.," he wrote. And for a guy that has a rumored twenty five Hummers, and a slew of nude pics saturating the Internet, you evidently don't even need particularly large hands. And vice is the new virtue now anyway. Every Bill and Hillary Clinton hating media hack from Bill O'Reilly to Ann Coulter miraculously seemed to forget how important revealing the peccadilloes of public figures in private was, just as quickly as the Gloria Allred brand of feminists, who seemed to turn a blind eye to the former President's transgressions, grabbed Schwarzenegger by the metaphorical balls and squeezed hard.
If big oil fat cats in Texas werenít closing rank to muzzle the morons, one would think the barely literate, barely readable bomb bimbo, Ann Coulter, (who was shamelessly and flirtatiously porning her trite ramblings to the Solicitor General, Theodore Olsen, before his wifeís smoldering body was even removed from the debris of the plane that flew into the Pentagon) was co-scripting the White House public relations effort with Jerry Falwell and the editorial staff of the New York Post.
In a similar vain, as if cut from the same journalistic cloth, the rabid WorldNetDaily is under fire from, among others, the Council on American-Islam Relations (CAIR), for a fanatical diatribe written by one pathological John Maniscalco, dubbed, ďAn airline pilot challenges Arab Muslims in AmericaĒ. While violent verbal attacks against anyone who doesnít ascribe to WorldNetDaily editor, Joseph Farahís demented, perverted blend of patriarchal, heterofascist Christian supremacy -- that makes the mini-skirted, Barbara Olson-wannabe, Ann Coulter, look like Nadine Gordimer -- are to be expected, the brand dilution being perpetrated in the name of American Airlines is staggering. Published last month, (although numerously and earlier by other publications - and suddenly mysteriously absent from the WorldNetDaily site), Maniscalco is billed as an American Airlines pilot. To date, American Airlines has not challenged the assertion, nor disassociated their brand from the invective.
Following the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon, the very publications that define the shallow culture of celebrity (remember the It Vanity Fair issue?) are now ditching irony with about as much authenticity and believability as Donna Rice Hughes teaching American girls values or Solicitor General Theodore Olson reading Ann Coulter editorials over coffee in the morning.
Intellectually barren columnist, Ann Coulter, in a tribute to talk show partisan Barbara Olson that was about as sensitively timed and welcome as an untreated yeast infection on Prom night, suggested that America bomb the fuck out of whatever country was responsible. Children and innocent civilians be damned! And convert them all to Christianity. No doubt her perverted brand of Christianity that deems bombing babies nobler than oral sex.
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