My Dad is sad and I am glad
For all the good times I have had
And all the ones that sure will follow
And how the guy will drown his sorrow.
A beer or two can do no harm,
Not near as much as Daddy’s charm.
He wants us to be like him, in short:
Does that mean drink and drive and snort?
I know he would find it not the least bit funny,
If I played with a Dick; or did Coke with Rummy!
So all that's left to really do,
Is see how many kids I can screw,
By signing a draconian law or two.
Or pitch like a bitch, dine the NBA,
While Tel Aviv to Nepal struggles day after day.
Ewing and Miller are how I'll get my kicks
I can party in Atlanta with the New York Knicks!.